


Walkin' On The Beach

by Aphros



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Fluff, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 20:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10395330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aphros/pseuds/Aphros
Summary: Your name is Roxy Lalonde.  It’s 1am and you’re a little bit drunk.  You’ve just had a night out clubbin’ on the boardwalk with your friends and have now found your way onto the beach.  You are alone... for a little bit at least.





	

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. It’s 1am and you’re a little bit drunk. You’ve just had a night out clubbin’ on the boardwalk with your friends and have now found your way onto the beach. You are alone.

The wind slices at your cheeks and blows your blonde hair back. You’ve folded your arms together to hold on to what warmth you do have. Dangling from one of your hands are your heels of choice for the night. You dig your toes further into the cool sand as you stand. 

Past the shore, you see nothing. It’s as if beyond the water there is only a pitch-black expanse of void. You somehow find it calming. At day, you can see the sky and the sun and clouds. Sometimes you can even see boats on the water in the distance. The contrast of night harbors quiet, calm and an absolute absence of stimulation.

The sound of feet sifting through the sand steal you from your daze. You turn your head, and notice your friend, Dirk, approaching from behind you. He’s wearing a white tee with a centered orange hat print. Over the shirt, he’s put on a black, leather jacket that match his black jeans and sunglasses.

You screw up your face, “Am I seriously so drunk that I’m imagining you wearing your sunglasses right now?” 

“It’s not your imagination. I’m terribly sorry to disappoint.” His sarcasm is evident, but he’s got a smile on his face.

“I swear to god, you’re the only person I know that wears shades at night.” You say incredulously.

“You’re the only person I know that’s drunk at all times of the day.” He remarks in a second, like it was prepared. Then, he checks that his shades are still fully on with his hand, pushing them up slightly.

You make a flat expression and raise your heels up as if they’re a wine glass, “You got me there. I guess that’s why we’re bffsies.” You give him a coy smile.

He nods in response, moving a few steps forward to stand beside you. Everything Dirk does is laced with an aloof air but you know better than that.

“Worried ‘bout me, Dirky?” You teasingly add a syllable to his name. 

Dirk scrunches his nose up a bit in turn, “No, but I know that you need company.”

“Sure, I’m the one that needs company” You lay out a sarcastic response with a twinge of a smile on your lips.

“Maybe we both do. The human condition is designed to rely on socialization. A Ms. Lalonde is not exempt from those standards.”

“Shhhh, you already won the debate like before you even started talking or something, man,” You lean into his side and reach your free hand up to press your pointer finger to his lips. He raises an eyebrow at you and calmly removes your finger from his lips. 

Dirk sets his shoes down beside him and takes a seat on the sand. He leans back on his hands. You watch him curiously, before dropping your heels and plopping down right next to him, “So, get any numbers?” You ask him.

He smiles at you and pulls out what looks to be a receipt. You grab it and focus intently on reading the print, “Huda beauty lashes? #8 Scarlett?? Dirk, I’m like real sorry ‘bout this but I really think that the #9 Carmen’s would be a much better fit for you.” You’re shaking your head at him.

“Not that,” he sighs out with exasperation, “Look at the back,” He gestures with his hand to flip the receipt.

You blink in surprise and flip it, “Oh shiiiiiiiiit, you got some digits,” You smile at him.

“You bet I did.” He smiles proudly. 

“You’re gonna have to give me some pointers,”

“Like what?” 

You crisscross your legs and spin to face him, “Show me how you did it,”

“You want me to reenact the whole thing?”

“Yea.”

“Are you kidding me rolal?”

“Nope.”

He looked off to the side for a moment, before decidedly slicking back his hair, and turning himself to face you back. 

“I’ll be the person, you be you,” You explain to Dirk, “I’m gonna count down from 3.”

“Alright.”

“3 … 2 …” and with a deep breath, “1!”

Dirk was just looking at you. 

“What is it?”

“They said hi to me first.” He tells you.

“Oh shit, ok, 3 … 2 .... 1!” You drop your tone to a husk, “Hey there, you sexy anime boy, I’ve never been more attracted to a man than I am now. The strobe lights are like totes reflectin’ off your glasses and its giving me a boner,”

Dirks expression doesn’t even crack, “This isn’t gonna work."

“But how am I gonna get on your level if you aren’t even willing to spill the tea!”

“We’ll have to spill it another way.”

“And how’s that?” You smile and wink.

Dirk blinks, a barely notable blush accompanying his stealthily bland expression, “Actually, I just decided there won’t be any spilling of anything liquidy in the slightest. Your shenanigans have straight up dried out anything remotely fluid besides pure, unadulterated H2O,”

“Diiiiiiiirk, don’t be like that!”

“Be like what, Roxy? Insanely angelic? Wait, is that a halo around my head that I’m sensing?” He mimes feeling a halo above his head.

“Shut up,” you grin and push yourself to your feet, declaring “Let’s have some fun, like, for real.”

He shrugs and stands up too, “What do you have in mind?”

“Pure, unadulterated H2O.” You take his hand and start to pull him down the beach towards the waves.

“Wait, I don’t want to get wet! It’s so fucking cold out.” Dirk detests, trying to pull away as you two near the ocean.

“Come on, Dirky, I wanna play,” You dig your feet into the sand to give yourself some form of traction against Dirk’s strength. He pulls right back, and what’s worse, is that he’s winning.

“I’d rather not get my clothes wet at this time of night. We’ll both freeze over if we do. We’ll be icecubes till morning, and corpses by the time we thaw.” He’s trying to pry your fingers from his forearm as he leans back and away. You pout your lips and stoop to a lower tactic, letting go of his arm with one hand and grasping at his shirt instead.

“Roxy! Don’t pull at my shirt, you’ll stretch it out,” He tries to removes your individual fingers from the material of his shirt.

You snicker, “You say that as if you don’t, like, totally have a million replicas in your closet,” He’s giving in a little to save his apparel. You grin wider, “What’s the big deal? Afraid of getting your anime sword wet,” 

“No, first of all, it’s a Katana. Second, I don’t bring my sword along to clubs,” He clarifies, in a serious tone.

“Why not? It would totes impress the gents,” You brush off his tone simplistically. 

He considers your response briefly, until he seemingly realizes his position. You’ve managed to scoot along just enough so that the waves are nearing your toes, “Let go of my shirt.” He demands, taking in a nervous swallow and revving up his macho bravado.

You smirk, proud of your near-victory, “Nah,” You pull one last time, and win the tug-a-war. His toes just barely touch the water, along with yours. You screech at the icy cold wave that swallows your foot, and Dirk literally jumps out of the water upon making contact. He grinds his teeth together and furrows his brow as he experiences the shocking cold.

You’re giggling a lot over how funny his reaction was, “That added like 5 fuckin’ years onto my life,”

“Your tricks end here, Lalonde.” Dirk, taking on a new attitude, points at you. He’s moved into a dramatic position, with one hand on his shade as he looks down into the sand.

“Lol. What.” You comment, feeling amusement.

Dirk pushes his glasses up on his nose and then jerks his head up to meet your gaze. He drops his pointing arm, and faces you. “Your deviance has left this town in shambles. Whole families have been wrecked by your carnivorous carnage,”

You too, take your battle stance as you begin to catch drift of the atmosphere, “Now, now, Sheriff. You’re assumin’ an awful lot of evils from a pretty gal, like me. Don’t ya think you’ve jumped the gun on this one.”

“No assumptions had to be made. It was all in the evidence. You’re messy, too messy.”

You smirk, “Appears you’ve caught me red handed, mr sheriff. I ought to admit, you have been mighty hot on my trail this whole time,”

“Yes, I certainly have. Why don’t you give yourself up now before this gets really out of hand, you thief.”

“Seems you’ve mistaken me, handsome. Here I thought you were a pretty handy fella. But it seems you’ve left one thing unaccounted for.” You prepare yourself as if you’re about to attack.

Dirk mirrors your position and sneers, “And what might that be, Lalonde?”

“I’m a rogue,” You kick up an incoming wave with your foot, sending spritz of water towards Dirk. He jumps out of the way just in time, his feet sliding against the sand.

You jump in glee, and then take off running. The sand keeps you sluggish, so you aren’t really going anywhere very fast. Dirk looks up at you, still by the waves, and bounds towards you. He’s taller and can use his strides to make up the distance.

Aware of this, you begin to do some RoLal style zig-zags that accomplish literally nothing at all. Suddenly, big arms wrap around you and pluck you from the ground. You scream out in surprise.

“The gag’s up Lalonde. I’m taking you downtown.” He throws you over his shoulder and carries you back to where your shoes are. He squats down and gathers them in one arm, and then pushes himself back up. You are slumped over Dirk’s shoulder as he trudges back through the sand and to the boardwalk.

“Thanks for checkin’ up on me, Dirk,” Your voice is quiet as you let your eyes rest for the remainder of the walk.

**Author's Note:**

> That was my first ever fanfic! I hope it's an enjoyable read. I spontaneously had the idea for a one shot, and thought, "why not!" and went for it. Thank you very much for taking the time to read it!


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